Weaning is a MoFo

46-47 weeks old

While the endocrinologist tells me both Tapazol or PTU are safe for breastfeeding, it’s still a Class D drug and it’s still passing through my breast milk. I don’t need trace amounts of aggressive thyroid suppressing drugs in Nessness’ system any longer than I’ve already got it going. I resolved to wean though it was a few months earlier than I was planning. The knowledge of that was actually harder to take than I expected. I really enjoyed breast feeding.

So on Mar 9th I started presenting EBM and/or formula in a sippy or bottle to her to see what she would take. I nursed her bedtime feed. She was an excellent water drinker from the sippy but after the first taste and subsequent whiffs of the various milks in the sippy, she refused all of it, batting it away with her ever-strengthening hands. The bottle was actually worse…she refused to have it in her mouth and if she finally allowed it in her mouth, she refused to suck. This continued until Friday Mar 13 when I decided that even the bedtime feed would be bottle only. I had thought maybe the bottle would be nice so she could be held and cuddled easier. I thought wrong. She fought the bottle so hard and so long that she threw up. I gave in and nursed her. One. Last. Time. (so sad)

From the 14th to the 15th we had a new resolve to only offer the bottle. I also bought different formula to try. She continued to cry and fight the bottle to the point she threw everything up. And she was so upset she’d just roll herself around our bed in protest, crying and screaming the whole time. Whether formula or EBM she wasn’t taking any of it. We told each other we had to outlast her. We were so sure she’d wake in the middle of the night hungry and we’d have to do it all over again. But she slept til morning! And did it again the next night. Then we knew she doesn’t need the bedtime feed! Hurray!

On Monday the 16th we decided to just not fight her with the bedtime feed. We would also only use the sippy cup instead of trying to go backwards and introduce the bottle again. If she took milk then great, if not, then have some water and off to bed. A Mommy friend also suggested trying homo milk since Nessness was almost one year old anyways. And what do you know…she accepted it. She didn’t take a cup’s worth or anything close to that…but she wouldn’t refuse a second sip…and sometimes would reach for a third sip. That was a win for us.

The current struggle (all last week til today) is that she would fight bedtime for up to an hour and a half. Crying and crying. Even if we held her she’d continue her back arching and crying and pushing your face away. Though if you laid her in bed then she’d scream even louder. No idea what this is. Anyone know??? She’ll still sleep until morning once she falls asleep. And she’ll still sleep two full 1.5 hour naps.

All this to say weaning is tough. Emotionally and physically. Especially since I don’t even have the strength to hold her without giving myself some tendon flare up. I miss holding her. I miss the last cuddle of the night. I miss feeling her in my arms. I miss her needing me. But she’s growing up….heading into pre-toddler stage…and she’s only going to need me less and less. Sigh.

Ok…some drier technical stuff…the progression of weaning I went through:

Previously – five feeds a day (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime)
Day 1 – Mar 9 – pump 3x (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and breastfeed the bedtime feed
Day 3 – Mar 11 – pump 2x (breakfast, snack) and breastfeed the bedtime feed
Day 5 – Mar 13 – pump 2x only (breakfast, bedtime)
Day 7 – Mar 15 – pump 1x only (breakfast)
Day 9 – Mar 17 – no more pumping

All the very best to weaning Mommy’s out there!

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