18 months old
I tried the consequence of having Nessness’ chair turned away from the table when she’s defiant as described here. This is what happened:
She was hitting her spoon against the table and in her dish and food was flying everywhere. I tell her spoons aren’t for hitting things with during dinner. She looks me in the eyes and throws her spoon to the ground. I hold her wrist, ask her to look at Mommy and say throwing the spoon to the ground is not a good response when Mommy’s telling her something, she’ll have to pick it up later, and she needs to say sorry Mommy. To which she screams in my face and starts flapping my with her other hand. I hold both wrists, ask her to look at Mommy, and tell her hitting Mommy and throwing things is wrong. She wrenches both hands free and start flailing flapping get arms at her plate, Mommy, everything, and throwing her head back crying. I take everything off her tray and tell her she’s behaving badly, Mommy loves her but tantrums are not welcome at the table so she can sit on her own until she’s ready to eat with everyone. I push her highchair out and turn it away from the table. Crying and screaming ensues. I tell everyone else (read: grandparents) this is her consequence and no one should interact with her right now. Set mental timer for one minute. We eat through the noise. A minute later Nessness is reaching her arms back toward us, crying still. I ask her if she’s ready to listen and eat with everyone at the table. She’s signing “all done”. I tell her if she’s ready then say “please”; she signs “please” right away. I pull her back around and dry off her face while saying Mommy loves her but she can’t have a tantrum at the table and ask if she’d like some chicken. She signs “please” so I feed her a few bites. I ask if she’d like a spoon and she signs “please” so I get her one. (She still has to pick up the one she threw on the floor.) We have a great rest of dinner together.
So, I’d say this works. =) Thanks for the tip Ms PR!